


Mistletoe Madness

by PsychedelicatePoltergeist



Series: The Dragon and the Shark [5]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:18:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicatePoltergeist/pseuds/PsychedelicatePoltergeist
Summary: It's that time of the year again, and Teruteru decides that the holiday season is incomplete without some mistletoe to spice things up in Class 77. His attempts at getting his classmates to kiss prove to be futile - until one unlucky pair find themselves under the mistletoe...





	Mistletoe Madness

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to write a KuzuSouda fanfic for the holiday season because hey, why the hell not? I hope you guys enjoy it!

It all began on a frosty December morning.

The students of Class 77, eager to escape the bitter chill of the weather outside, crowded into the classroom as they anticipated Miss Yukizome’s arrival. While they waited, they chatted with one another about the upcoming holiday season and what plans they had for Christmas. As wacky and nonsensical as this class could be, casually conversing with each other like this was fairly typical.

Then Mahiru, who’d been unusually silent until then, cleared her throat, prompting everyone else to turn their heads toward her.

“I can’t be the only one who’s noticed the mistletoe in the corner… right?” she hesitantly asked.

“Mistletoe?” Chiaki repeated, stunned. “In what corner?”

Mahiru gestured towards the left-hand corner of the room. “Look up,” she said.

She was right. Indeed, suspended from the ceiling was a small bunch of mistletoe leaves and red berries.

The students exchanged glances, and before long, the chorus of chatter arose again.

“Who put that there?”

“Is this a devious curse that has been planted within this vicinity?”

“Oh, there is a Western tradition surrounding it during this time of year, is there not?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”

Amongst the curious hubbub of questions, Mahiru stood with her hands placed firmly on her hips and turned to face the student who sat behind her, whose sheepish grin undoubtedly gave away his intentions. “Teruteru, you’re the one responsible for this, aren’t you?”

The commotion abruptly stopped. All eyes turned to Teruteru.

The boy in question casually extracted his comb from the pocket of his apron and ran it through his hair. “Of course,” he freely admitted. “I feel like we need some sweet, hot lovin’ in the holiday season - what better way to do it than hanging some mistletoe?”

“I support this movement!” Kazuichi piped up enthusiastically. “Maybe I can finally steal a kiss from Miss So-“ He was cut off by a soft blow at the back of his head from Fuyuhiko, who sat beside him.

Mahiru sighed. “I really don’t see a point to this. There aren’t even any couples in this class.”

“Aw, don’t be such a killjoy!” Teruteru cried. “It’ll be…  _ fun.  _ In more ways than one.” He winked with a mischievous grin.

Mahiru sighed as she sat down again. “I’ll be taking it down when I get the chance,” she said.

Teruteru and Kazuichi groaned in displeasure, but before anyone else could speak, Miss Yukizome had arrived, and homeroom was to begin.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°◦❁◦°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

“Miss Sonia! Miss Soniaaaaa!” Kazuichi rushed over to the princess’s side before she could leave the classroom. Their first period had passed without incident, and it seemed that everyone had quickly forgotten about the mistletoe in the corner of the classroom.

Well, almost everyone.

Sonia turned towards Kazuichi, glancing at him curiously. “Yes?”

Kazuichi took a deep breath in the hopes of controlling the frantic, nervous thumping of his heart. “D-d’you mind comin’ with me for a moment? I-I wanna show you somethin’!”

Sonia skeptically raised an eyebrow. “I am not sure, Kazuichi… where would you like to take me?”

That was a rather difficult question. He knew the answer, for sure, but he wasn’t going to just spell out his intentions to her, clear as day. “Um… r-right here in this classroom,” he mumbled as he stared down at his feet, concealing the blush that covered his face.

Sonia glanced over at the left-hand corner of the classroom. Then she turned back towards Kazuichi, smiling apologetically. “I am truly sorry, Kazuichi, but I have just remembered that I had agreed to assist Gundam in feeding the school chickens,” she said.

Kazuichi’s heart sank as she began to make her way out of the classroom. She was lying, he could tell. “W-wait, Miss Sonia-“

“Leave her alone,” Fuyuhiko, who’d remained seated in order to oversee the exchange, spoke up. “If she doesn’t wanna share slobber with you, then she doesn’t wanna. Deal with it.”

“Aw, bro!” Kazuichi pouted. “You’re s’posed to be my right-hand man! The one who assists me in my youthful high school escapades!”

“No, I’m s’posed to be the one who makes sure you don’t go doin’ anythin’ stupid.”

“Man, you’re such a killjoy.”

“Complain all you want, I’m just makin’ sure Sonia doesn’t end up beatin’ you to an inch of your life with her schoolbag or somethin’.”

Kazuichi gulped. “M-Miss Sonia would never do that!”

“She would if you pushed her hard enough,” Fuyuhiko warned. “Seriously, Kazuichi, let it go. ‘Sides, you should prolly focus more on school and shit than picking up girls or whatever.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“Tch. It sure feels like I’m your parent sometimes.” Fuyuhiko sighed. “Anyway, c’mon now, we can’t stay in this classroom the entire break.”

“Right,” Kazuichi agreed as they headed out of the classroom together.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°◦❁◦°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The next time they were in that classroom, the mistletoe had disappeared. Kazuichi suspected that Mahiru had something to do with it. Either way, the class was relieved, with the exception of Teruteru, who loudly complained that he hadn’t seen anyone making out.

But the next day, the mistletoe had reappeared, this time in the back right-hand corner of the room. This time, Mahiru immediately complained to Miss Yukizome about it, and it was taken down in an instant.

From then onwards, things only got a little crazier. The mistletoe continued to reappear, only it was now showing up in other locations around the campus, such as the other classrooms, the library, the common room and even the girls’ restroom (according to a mortified Mikan, at least). Each and every day, it would appear in a new place, and everyone had to be extremely careful of where they stood. A few of the students had began complaining to the teachers about it; however, none of them seemed to care.

Kazuichi, meanwhile, used these opportunities to try and get Sonia beneath the mistletoe with him; however, his attempts at stealing a kiss from her proved to be fruitless. She seemed to had caught on to his advances quite quickly, for she made an effort to avoid him whenever possible.

On the following Monday, once Kazuichi had reached homeroom, only Fuyuhiko, Peko and Teruteru were present. He was sure that the others would arrive any moment, however. He was walking towards his desk when Fuyuhiko suddenly leapt out of his seat, grabbed him by the collar of his jumpsuit and slammed him against the wall. His eyes were narrowed in anger, piercing Kazuichi like a knife, and he trembled in fear.

“I-is somethin’ wrong, bro?” Kazuichi asked shakily. “Have I d-done somethin’ to piss you off?”

“Hell yeah you did,” Fuyuhiko growled. “You’ve been a complete nuisance to Sonia all week - way more than usual, too. And I’m tellin’ you right now that-“ He paused, and Kazuichi could make out the sound of Teruteru giggling quietly. Fuyuhiko turned towards the Ultimate Chef who sat at the back of the classroom, sparing Kazuichi from his glare for a moment. In front of Teruteru, Peko watched them with interest. “And what’re you fuckin’ laughin’ at, you fuckin’ horndog?”

Teruteru didn’t speak. As his laughter continued, he simply pointed towards the ceiling above Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi’s heads. The two boys looked up, and, to their horror, they found themselves staring at the innocent-seeming green leaves of mistletoe. The colour drained from Kazuichi’s face as the reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. He had finally,  _ finally  _ found himself under the mistletoe with someone - and in the end, it wasn’t Sonia. His first kiss was going to be stolen by his best friend - a  _ boy.  _ And he was almost certain that he only liked girls.

“Fuck!” Fuyuhiko exclaimed as his cheeks lit up a soft shade of pink. “How the fuck did- did  _ that  _ get up there!?”

Teruteru grinned mischievously. “Now you know why I got here so early!”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you!” Fuyuhiko declared as he tightly clenched his fists, and for once, Kazuichi agreed with him.

“No, no, no!” Teruteru raised his hands in self-defence. “You two have to kiss first. As long as you kiss each other, you can inflict whatever means of punishment upon me you think is appropriate!”

Peko raised an eyebrow in amusement, but remained silent.

Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi exchanged glances. Kazuichi felt his own cheeks heat up. Then, Fuyuhiko quickly surveyed the classroom. It was still mostly empty, and there was still just the three boys plus Peko within it. He sighed, defeated. “Might as well get this shit over with before the others get here,” he muttered. “But after that, we’re just gonna forget all ‘bout it. This ain’t a memory I wanna hold on to, or anythin’ like that.” He turned away, focusing his attention on the other side of the room as the redness of his cheeks intensified.

Kazuichi took a deep breath in anticipation. “So it’s actually happenin’,” he said.

“No shit,” Fuyuhiko snapped as he turned to Kazuichi again. “Hurry the fuck up and get it over with.”

“H-hey, don’t rush me!” Kazuichi protested. “I-I need to prepare myself, y’know-“

He was stunned into silence when Fuyuhiko grabbed him by the collar of his jumpsuit once again, pulled him towards him, and roughly crushed their lips together. It was in no way the perfect kiss, and Kazuichi whined because it  _ hurt  _ and their teeth painfully collided, but it was mercifully over as suddenly as it had begun. His eyes were still wide in shock, and his cheeks felt as though they’d burst into flame.

Fuyuhiko, meanwhile, had immediately rushed back to his desk, hiding his own intense blush beneath his hands. Teruteru was grinning proudly in amusement, and Peko was covering her mouth as her body lightly trembled.

And that was the scene that Mahiru, Hyoko, Ibuki and Mikan had walked in on. Their eyes scanned the classroom in bewilderment as they moved towards their respective desks and took their seats.

Mahiru cleared her throat. “Um… have we missed something?” she asked uncertainly.

“I think we have, big sis!” said Hiyoko. “Can’t you smell the  _ cringe  _ in here? That wimpy mechanic dude just got caught up in something humiliating! And I think the baby-faced Yakuza was involved too!”

Fuyuhiko raised his head and aimed a sharp glare at Hiyoko. “Shut your trap,” he snarled. “Nothin’ happened. S’none of your business.”

“ _ Sure! _ ” Hiyoko giggled. “Now c’mon, tell me all about it!”

“Hiyoko.” Mahiru folded her arms and gave her best friend a stern look. “Leave them alone. They don’t have to tell us if they don’t want to.”

“Fine.” Hiyoko pouted. She then turned towards Mikan. “Hey, you look grosser than ever today!” she crowed.

“D-do I really!?” Mikan squeaked. “I-I’m sorry!”

As Hiyoko continued to belittle Mikan, Kazuichi sighed and sat at his desk, resting his chin in his palm. He could forget all about how his first kiss had turned out - but it wasn’t going to be easy.

  
  



End file.
